Female-owned vehicle. Female should ovulate healthily, and be unvaccinated (shedders need not reply). Cover should be composed of an absorptive material such as cotton, leather, or soft synthetics. Absolutely no beads will be considered. Cover should be at least 6 months old. I will add an extra 10% to the price if proof of purchase date can be provided for a cover over 6 months old.

DO NOT reply to this post if you are any of the following:

• a man
• male
• a biological male claiming to have transitioned to another sex
• an obese woman (16% body fat or higher)
• an old woman (prefer legal consenting ages below 27 [aka "The Wall"])
• black
• head of household (note: high cortisol strongly affects body odor)
• impoverished (refer to head of household note)
• a cigarette or marijuana smoker
• a bernie sanders voter
• vegan or vegetarian
• taller than 5'-6"

Additional 10% bonus if you are currently or were pregnant at any time while using the cover.